Saturday, October 16, 2004

I chose to be a Christian and I chose to be His disciple, as well.

The topic for today's service was about suffering from slacking. Well, the speaker started with the reasons of Christians on why they are Christians. Sounds complex eh? He mentioned about the second generation Christians who become Christians because their parents are Christians. However, should this be what God desires? No. God gives everyone a choice. He doesn't force anyone to believe in Him or accept Him. However, He allows us to choose instead. Thus, if you claim that you are a Christian, the reason should be simple. You chose to believe in Him and it is you who chose to be a Christian. Not one was there to force you.

He continued with a question. "How may of you are Christians?" Everyone raised their hands of course. However, he continued with another question. "How many of you are disciples?" Only a few raised their hands. What does it mean? Isn't Christian similar to His disciple? No.

Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. - Luke 14:25-27

So what if you are a Christian? Everyone can be one. But, not everyone can be a disciple of Christ. There is a price to pay. The Lord says that if anyone does not hate his parents, or siblings or his own life, he cannot be His disciple. Well, you may be shocked when you see this. However, the true meaning is that God wants you to put Him as your first priority and not anyone else inculding yourself. He requires and desires the best of the best of you. Then second part talks about carrying the cross and follow Him. Well, it means that to deny everything you have or possess and following Him whole-heartedly. Only then, can you be His disciple.

Being His disciple is never easy. Your friends around you will feel that you are weird and they will despise you. You can no longer engage with the things of your earthly desires. You may not be able to do what your other friends do. Your life has been committed to God and He controls everything. You will face denial, rejection or even persecution. You face suffering of all kinds - mentally, physically or emotionally. Are you prepared? Those who are willing were asked to go to the front to proclaim. I did. We kneeled down and the leader went around praying for each and every one of us, individually. I felt something working in me. I was able to focus on Him and really reflect and keeping myself prepared. And AMEN! I've surrendered my life once again. To the Lord, who is so great, so mighty, so strong and so lovely.

crucified at 8:45:00 PM
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crucified at 9:10:00 AM
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Thursday, October 14, 2004

Thanks everyone who've been there for me all the while. Thanks angela, daphne, shirlyn & perhaps jun liang. Thanks for all the encouragements and support. I am feeling better now. Well, you guys indeed made me realise that there are many caring friends around me. I thank God for your existence. Well, I shall thank you guys individually to express my sincerity.

Angela: Thanks for all the words of encouragement and for keeping me occupied by the conversation. Furthermore, thanks for teaching me to escape from problems (though not very practical). Well, I know that you are currently struggling with your preparation as you've spent alot of time on your art piece. Well, always look to Him and He will show you the direction, alright? Don't get too worried about your o level results. No matter what results you would receive, I am very sure that God would be glorified. Because He knows that you've put in the required efforts. Will pray for you...

Daphne: Thanks for adding problem to my problem. (You know what I mean yar?) Just joking. Well, do not get troubled or guilt-ridden by what you've said or done. I will not get angry with you. Well, thanks for promising that you'd be there for me (tho' it has not be proven). I appreciate this friendship. Well, for your problem, just hold on there, and I am sure that everything would be alright. Don't rush! Flush!..Eh... I mean don't be impatient. Just wait and that day will come and you'll be able to explain everything then. Other than this, thanks for the new method of pouring out sorrows (unrevealed-)... hahaz.. well.. that's all.

Shirlyn: Thanks for all those crappy stuff yesterday night. I hope you do mean what you've said. Hahaz... Well, thanks for keeping me occupied with your craps yesterday. I appreciate them. Though you may be siao siao some time (in fact most of the time), you cheer up lives. Well, remember my present ah!!!

Jun Liang: I appreciate your maturity and understanding. You are so patient and soft-tempered. Thanks for withstanding my attitude problem yesterday. Well, having a friend like you is something that I will never regret. Well, though you may seem childish, but you have your matured and "adult-liked" side. Always stay like this.

crucified at 6:21:00 PM
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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

crucified at 8:35:00 PM
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Maybe it's better to leave everything to God and abide with His ultimate plan.

I made an important decision yesterday. Though there was unwillingness and extreme reluctance, I had to make that decision anyway. Maybe everything is just the plan by Him. I trust in His plan and I know that His plan for me will serve as nothing but to give me a hope and a future. I remember 1 Cor 10:31 which says, So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Maybe I can say that my actions were not glorifying at all. I did prayed about it but I did not get any reply from Him. Or maybe it's a WAIT! Well, I felt that I've been going against Him all this while. I really want to obey Him and live according to His will. I want to honor Him in all I do. Well, just hope that this decision would turn everything right.

That's all I can say.

crucified at 4:33:00 PM
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Monday, October 11, 2004

crucified at 9:52:00 PM
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Sunday, October 10, 2004

Meeting and Parting is the way of life. Parting and Meeting is the hope of life.

During the matrix season, I remembered there was a quotation, "Everything that has a beginning has an end." It may sound vague. However, however vague it is, it's still the inevitable truth. In life, I am like a tree, one that stands in the middle of a plain. Occassionally, birds may nest on me and they eventually became my friends. However, they are not expected to permanently stay with me. After one generation, they would leave and continue with their life's journey. Should there be any occassion that we would meet again? Only God knows.

Time flies. It really does. It seems like just yesterday when I reported for the Secondary One posting registration. However, four years have passed. I've spent a total of four years in GM yet it seems like 4 days. I am currently running the last lap of this chapter of my life and GM would then only stay as a memory. I began to realise that I've taken everything for granted. I did not prepare to leave, nor imagine the feeling upon leaving GM - my second home. Upon reflection, I realised that GM has been serving as a place for my character development. Just like the motto that says: "To grow in friendship, body & mind". I've made many friends here, and I believe that this friendship would never be forgotten. Other than the friendship with my schoolmates, I met Christ, the Lord, in the same building. And this intimate friendship would definitely last for eternity. It was Him, who was there, protecting me & guiding me thus far. I believe that He would continue to be faithful, now, tomorrow and forever. GM is more than just a school. It is a home. A home filled with joy, laughter, warmth and love. Everyone plays an important role. Be it in leadership or just a follower, everyone truly enjoyed themselves. Well, I do. The teachers here are really caring and willing to sacrifice or walk an extra mile for our sake. They never discourage us or despise us on our different abilities. Everyone was given a fair share of opportunity to develop their hidden potential. Without the teachers, I wouldn't be what I am today. Without God, there would be no me. For those who have yet known Him or yet to receive Him, I urge you that you start your exploration now. It's never too late as He would always be there for you. If you take the effort to find Him, He will be found. Promise.

Looking back, GM was not my first choice, nor was it the second or third. It was my fourth choice. I didn't thought of coming to this school. I didn't know Christ then, thus, I had no desire to join this GM family. But thank God, He brought me in. Through these years, I have never regretted upon coming to this school. Through the activities such as camps and courses, I managed to overcome my fears and learnt to be strong in all circumstances. I also found my purpose in life through the school. The bible-study sessions with teachers, the daily devotions, the weekly chapel and the weekly singspiration have really built-up my spiritual life. And now, I can proudly say that I've gotten most of my essential needs for the rest of my life. I've got Christ, who is everything.

To all the teachers of GM, thanks for the happiness you've brought, and the friendships you've taught. I really appreciate your invaluable input and guidance through the past four years of my life. You are like the fire and I am the candle. You've lighted up my life. Thanks also for teaching me to know God and to love God.

To all my fellow friends in GM, thanks for being there. I may not be a good friend or good example for you to follow. But let's get rid of the negative memories and let's not let this friendship fades along the road. May we continue to have each other in our hearts and I pray, that even ten years down the road, when you hear my name, you'll say, "That's my friend."

To God, I love You.

crucified at 6:45:00 PM
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