Saturday, June 05, 2004

hmm... no poem today... running a fever of 38.1 degree celsius... vomitted in the morning... thought i would die... hahaz... doctor said i am suffering from gastric flu & minor food poisoning and prescribed me 7 packets of capsules...9 to be taken at one go...hahaz... haiz... this is the first time i am experiencing both at one go... haiz... still feeling giddy now... slept from morning till 6pm... haiz... got "Friendster" at church today.... cannot go... feel so guilty... well, maybe God doesn't want me to go... haiz...

been thinking about "her" these few days... well... think this is the first time i am revealing that there is a "her" tht i like... hahaz... well... dunno wad is she doing now... haiz... so much things to worry about siaz... well... guess i shall do something soon... i dun want to hide everything to myself anymore...

if anyone thinks that i've been talking in riddles nowadays... YES I AM... and everything will be settled and completed soon... then I will return to my normal way...

crucified at 8:10:00 PM
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Friday, June 04, 2004

BELIEVE

I was chosen before the world
You called me by my name
I am now a child of Light
I am now not on my own
But with a Father who cares

I will go with You through the valley, O Lord!
I will soar above every mountain, with You!
I will trust Your word deep within my heart, Forever!
I will live for You, Only You!

I know my future's in Your hands
Everything's drawn out in Your perfect plans
You give me strength to live
And faith to succeed
I believe In You
Because You believed in me

- Humphrey Tan

crucified at 11:32:00 PM
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SECRET PLACE

When I am lost,
You will find me.
When I fall,
You pick me up.
When I am down,
You encourage me.
When I'm in need,
You shelter me.

You are such a beautiful Lord
And a wonderful Saviour
Who is beyond description

You perform miracles for the hearts.
You provide food for the souls.
You guide the Lost ones home.
You push the boats gently, safely ashore.

You've shown me Your truth and Glory.
You've given me Your unfailing Love.
You've bestowed me the Freedom to live.
You've showered me with the undeserved Mercy.
You've called me Your own

You're my Peace,
You're my Rest,
You're my Secret Place...

- Humphrey Tan

crucified at 11:24:00 PM
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MY BEST FRIEND

Have you heard of the One called Saviour?
Have you heard of His perfect love?
Have you heard of the One in heaven?
Have you heard how He gave His Son?
Cause I have found this love
I believe in the Son
Show me Your way

I believe in the One called Saviour
I believe He's the Risen One
I believe that I'll live forever
I believe that my King will come
Cause I have found this love
I believe in the Son
Show me Your way

Jesus, You are my best friend
And You will always be
And nothing will ever change that.

Nothing will ever change that
Nothing will ever change that
Nothing will ever change that

crucified at 11:20:00 PM
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Thursday, June 03, 2004

WANT

In this imperfect world
Nothing is fair
Nothing is balanced

The friends I have
They harmed me
They despised me
They killed me with their tongues

The people I met
They stared at me
The look down on me
They avoided me

I wanted to rebel
I wanted to fight back
But You stopped me
You asked me to forgive

I listened to You again and again
But nothing seems to change
You let them continue to hurt me
You allowed them to kill me again and again

Why, Lord?
Why did You do that?
I thought You love me?
I thought You will protect me?

Have You love me no more?
Am I no longer Your son?
Have You deny me?
Am I still Your treasured possession?

Lord, reveal Yourself to me
I know that's one of Your perfect plans for me
But don't You think that the "tests" are too demanding?
Guide me through Lord, will You?

Will You?...
I don't want them to hurt me anymore...
I want respect from them!
I want freedom!
I want You, Jesus!

- Humphrey Tan (with tears)

crucified at 9:53:00 PM
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MY FRIEND

The mountain so tall
The river so deep
The valley so dark
And the problem so big

I may fall off the mountain
I may drown in the river
I may get lost in the valley
The problem may be too big for me to solve

But I will choose to hold on
My Faith in You will never die
The spark of Passion in my heart will turn into flame
It will continue to burn forever

I will remain in You
As Your words remain in me
You are like my Father
I am Your son
I obey Your teaching
You will never forsake me

Abba Father
My Redeemer
My Saviour
My Healer
My Provider
My Lover
My God
My Life
My Freedom
My Jesus...
And My Friend

- Humphrey Tan

crucified at 8:42:00 PM
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Wednesday, June 02, 2004

THANK YOU

I closed the door of my heart
To stop You from entering
You started to knock
But I did nothing

I fell asleep
I entered into a dream
Into the scenes of Your days
From Your birth to Your death
I saw everything

You were betrayed
You were rejected
You were despised
But You were also the one
Who chose to forgive

The journey up to Calvary
You carried the Cross
Up on the Cross
You surrendered Your life
For the exchange of my Freedom

Your death may be an insignificant one
But it deserves abundant credits
Because of Your death
I was reconciled to God
Because of Your death
I am no longer a slave
Because of Your death
I can walk blamelessly
Because of Your death
I may continue to live
Because of Your death
I fully comprehened the meaning of LOVE

I was awakened by the continuous knockings
I opened the door
You were still there
Smiling at me

You entered into my heart once again
And we are together once again
Never will I close the door
Never will I deny You
It's all because of the Cross

Thank You for the Cross,
My beloved Friend

-Humphrey Tan

crucified at 1:31:00 PM
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Monday, May 31, 2004

Journey

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through?

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
To you

I find the lyrics of this song very meaningful, therefore, I would like to share it with all the visitors of my site. Hope that you all will like it too. :)

crucified at 7:50:00 PM
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REPENTANCE

You calmed my heart
You listened to my calling
You answered each and every of my prayer
But have I ever realise that?

I've been listening to my fears
I've reacted according to myself
I lived as my own God
I had forgotten that I am Your creation of life

Forgive me Lord!
I know I was wrong
I've strayed from You
I don't want to be like this anymore

Take me in once again Lord!
As I re-delicate myself to You
I want to repent
Take me, I am Yours

Get rid of the Satan that's in me Lord
I don't want to listen to "him" anymore
I want to pursue Your Holiness
Your Godliness

I want to be called a Son of God again
I need Your love
Your strength
Your mercy
and...
Your Forgiveness

O Lord!

- Humphrey Tan

crucified at 7:12:00 PM
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Sunday, May 30, 2004

Who is he?
When did this happen?
What's behind everything?
Which day?
Why did it happen?
How it happen?

Maybe I am too sensitive...

crucified at 10:53:00 PM
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THE LORD WILL FIGHT FOR YOU
YOU NEED ONLY TO BE STILL
THE LORD IS STILL FAITHFUL & TRUE
FOR THOSE TAKING THEIR PAPER TOMORROW,
REMEMBER HIM & HIS PROMISE
SURELY HE WILL GLORIFY YOU

AMEN!

crucified at 7:12:00 PM
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