Friday, July 09, 2004

I've decided to turn and look backward... but would there still be anyone behind me?

crucified at 11:44:00 PM
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Wednesday, July 07, 2004

JESUS, THANK YOU FOR THE CROSS

Jesus, thank you for the cross
Holding nothing back
You did all your Father asked
I'll never know just how it felt
As you died, lifted high

I know It hurt I know the pain
Was more than words could ever say
You had a choice, you chose to die
Your sacrifice has saved my life
What can I say?

Oh Jesus, you gave your life for me
So precious the blood you shed
You made a way to heaven by dying in my place
Jesus, thank you for the cross

crucified at 10:06:00 PM
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CALLED

Called to take His Light
To this world where wrong seems right
Where the people couldn't see
And they were filled with fear

Called to shine the Light
To the fearful hearts
Then they may see the Light
And be led back to the Holy One

Called to pass on the Light
To the faithful ones
Then they may too be His instrument
And may too light up the world

Called to reach out to the world
To gather all the Lights
To walk hands in hands
Through the journey of Eternity

- Humphrey Tan

crucified at 9:16:00 PM
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004

WHEN YOU BELIEVE

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there is much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proved in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
With heart so full
I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill

Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
Now you will
You will when you believe

You will when you believe

crucified at 7:31:00 PM
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Monday, July 05, 2004

i know that i was wrong.
i know that i can't be forgiven.
i took that matter too lightly.
i assumed that nothing will ever happen to her.
i didn't do what i ought to.
i did not accompany her.
i let her went alone.
i know it would be too late if anything were to happen.

i apologised.
with some lame and crapy reasons.
but i just can't express myself in a more matured way.
i know i may be childish at times.
i know that sometimes i just say things at the wrong times.

i do not know what to do now.
i do not know how to express my deepest apology.
u can treat me as enemy forever.
but i just want you to be happy.
you may hate me.
you may ignore me forever.
you may just assume that you had never known me.

i am sorry.

crucified at 10:18:00 PM
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I AM SORRY!

crucified at 10:11:00 PM
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ABOVE ALL

Above all powers, above all kings
Above all nature and all created things
Above all wisdom and all the ways of man
You were here before the world began

Above all kingdoms, above all thrones
Above all wonders the world has ever known
Above all wealth and treasures of the earth
There's no way to measure what you're worth

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all

crucified at 1:30:00 PM
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Sunday, July 04, 2004

Forgive Me

Carry on no more
Hold on no longer
Move on no further

I don't wish this to happen
I don't wish this to be the end
I had no choice
I can make no decisions

I told you the reason
You said it was an excuse
Can't my words worth more?
Can't my words be taken seriously?

I don't wish to argue anymore
I don't wish to fight
I apologised and admit my fault
But you just don't seem to care

You said if apology could be used
There is no need for police
I know I can't be forgiven
I know I can't be pardoned

But forgive me will you?
But pardon me will you?

- Humphrey Tan

crucified at 9:08:00 PM
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crucified at 8:29:00 PM
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It is often said, "There is always a reason behind everything." What is a reason? Is a reason similar to an excuse? Why do people around keep reprimanding that I am full of excuses when I am telling them the reasons? Why do people keep blaming me? even you? You said that you are disappointed, then how about me? You think I don't wish to go? You think that I am finding excuses not to accompany her? But do you know the reason, I mean reason, deep down at the bottom of my heart? How I wish that you can know. But I just couldn't express or tell you the reason inside. You are not the only one who feel disappointed in me. I am disappointed in myself too. I feel like crying, dying and feel like hitting my head against the hard wall. I am not finding excuses, I am no longer a person who breaks his promises, I am no longer a person whose word only worth 2 cents. But do you believe me? Will you believe? Or will you even take a minute to read this entry?

crucified at 8:12:00 PM
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O Gosh! Those thoughts and feelings are back again. YES, they are back... I begin to worry about those things again... haiz... wad's happenning in me again? well... hope that this will not last long... hmm... went suntec yesterdae for a shirt hunt for the school's musical on the 9th July... bought a shirt at G2000... then when we (me and mum) wanted to browse more more, it's already 9pm when majority of the shops were closed... might go again in the afternoon...or evening... hmm... well, that's all for now...

crucified at 1:28:00 PM
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