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I have found my island.
Going to anchor at the coast nearby.
Waiting for the island to let me in.
From afar, I will admire the island and dream of my future.
I have learnt how to swim in the big blue sea.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Have I made the right decision?

I have to question myself again. Have I really made the right decision upon going to RiverLife and making it my permanent church? I was approached by Khai Ying during lunch break this afternoon.

"Do you have something to tell me?" he asked as if he knew I was going to tell him anything.

"Eh...what thing?" I replied in astonishment.

"So do you have something that you want to tell me?" He insisted that I should tell him.

I turned around and headed for a bench. He followed and sat beside me, waiting for me to say.

Basically, I told him the truth that I am indeed going to leave Emmaus and join RiverLife. I told him some of my reasons (due to time constraints). Well, but he asked me to think again.

Was it satan who is influencing me to leave Emmaus? Is it true that I really stop growing?

He asked me to think about these questions. Well, I wished to answer him directly, but I had a lesson to attend. I am quite sure that it is God who wants me to go RiverLife. I am quite sure of that. I have been praying hard on that. I also know that if I am going to stay with Emmaus, it will not help at all. I've stopped growing, and that's the truth. Everyone says that I might have a wrong motive on the decision to change a church. But... do they really understand me? Well, I really do not wish to doubt their understanding, but.. I really need a new environment for my growth. If not, how am I going to witness to the billions of people out there?

Well... everything that I say would be fruitless. They will find every reason to rebuke everything that came out from me. Well, it's not that I am going to give up on God and worship another idol or another god which doesn't exist. I am still worshipping the same God anyway. The only difference is the environment. Well, I know that they care for me. But... isn't that a bit too demanding for me? My decision is final. Nothing is going to change it, unless God really tells me that that's a wrong decision.

crucified at 6:35:00 PM
<<<------- Phrey-DOMic~ ------->>>
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