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I have found my island.
Going to anchor at the coast nearby.
Waiting for the island to let me in.
From afar, I will admire the island and dream of my future.
I have learnt how to swim in the big blue sea.

Friday, July 30, 2004

It's so confusing. It's a hard decision to make. It determines my future walk with Him.
Well, is there a need for me to change my Third Home (Church)? This question has been hitting my mind since few months ago. I feel that I've been growing very slowly nowadays. My relationship with my feelow siblings-in-christ seems to be fading. Is it because I've thought to much? Or is it because of some other reason. Well, some friends have been asking me to visit some other churches and make one my permanent one if the environment suits me. Well, I've been with Emmaus for more than a year. Well, if I were to leave, I really can't muster the courage to tell them. What should I tell them? Will they doubt my faith? Will I become a irresponsible Christian if I change a church? Well, frenkly speaking, I do not know. Well, they asked me to think back about my present church. How it functions, the services, the people, the atmosphere, the enviroment. Well, I have been convinced that it's a good church, but only for young christians. But... am I not young? Hmm... well.. I think that I am not with the authority to make the decision. Well, I shall start praying today. Well, it doesn't matter which church am I attending, the most important part is whether I am growing. All churches are worshipping the same God after all. hmm... if you can, pray for me too...
 
Well, my throat is still not recovering. In fact, yesterday was better than today (you know what I mean huh)... Well, my tears nearly flow out when I swallow a little amount of saliva this morning... well... told mum about it and she says, "Serve you right." well.. was annoyed by her "uncaring" remark. Nevermind... well... I have a good news today... I am no longer a member of The Air Force... hahaz... that's what I thought of for the term TAF (Trim & Fit)... well, although the membership is free, the services and activities provided are somehting of higher standard... it's both physically and mentally demanding... hahaz... well... I am OUT!!!... well... I eventually lost 1.7kg in a week (may seem little to some)... well... whatever... I am out anyway... hahaz... won't be looked at every morning during the daily run... hahaz... so paiseh... well... it's a bonus for mum too as she doesn't have to wash so much clothes anymore... well...at least one shirt and one short lesser... It saves water and detergent... hahaz... crap... well... hmm... tomorow is the english paper 2 and e maths mock exams... well... yet studied... hahaz... well... the keyword is MOCK isn't it? wahahahaz... I am crapping again... btw... no one is at home now except me... hahaz... I am the temporary KING... mum's at aunt's house to celebrate a cousin's (who has no blood relation to me) 3rd birth anniversary... hahaz.... well.... i should end here....bye

crucified at 7:13:00 PM
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